Pause, Please

I just sometimes feel as though I could never actually stop. As in, if I decided that I was going to stop it all, just for a second - put my life on pause - I couldn't. And that's when I feel tired. Tired as though I could never possibly have enough sleep. Tired as though no matter what I do, there will always be more to do. I've definitely reached a new record for overburdening myself. It pretty much sucks.

I love what I'm doing. Generally, I love life. But right now it just feels like this crazy rollercoaster of emotion and things and stress. No one loves that. It's exhausting.

So. Where's the remote control for life?

I don't even need the whole thing, really. All I need is the pause button so I can rearrange my affairs to a way that works for me, have a long nap, and press play feeling ready to go.

It's quite unfortunate that I can't actually manage to say any of these words out loud to a human being. Instead I choose to write meaningless words and send them into cyberspace, so that some consequential person will come along and read them and not really care. Why am I even blogging? The age of the Journal sure was a lot easier...and honest.

Five Syllables.

Once Upon a Time.

Four little words, yet for so many they have opened up worlds of fantasy, of potential, of a future where whatever your dreams are, they can happen. They're possible the most useful writer's block destroyer, because words, for me at least, just stream after like there's no tomorrow.

So, now what? Let's start our story with these words.

Once. Upon. A. Time.

Once upon a time, there was a world with unlimited boundaries, with no difficulty, with no worries. In this world, there was a girl. And she was four years old. Years later she would reflect back upon this time in her life, and wonder how so many things could change in one person's life. How all of a sudden this paradise was lost, and replaced by a paradise of a different variety - where, while things were often good, every once in a while the evil dragon of catastrophe would breathe fire over her universe and turn everything upside down.

It was at times like these that she wished, with every feeling in her body, that she could just go back to when she was four. Things were simpler then, easier. But were they better? She could never know for sure.